We chose the theme of taboos because, well, it’s Soho innit? Our first was on politics and Brexit (funnily enough) and our second on sex where we posed the question: What Do Women Really Want in Bed?

This led to me being interviewed on the Good Sex, Bad Sex podcast where I just about managed to survive the devilish duo that is Bibi Lynch and Miranda Kane. And answer that burning question…

You can listen in here:

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For the upcoming literary salon I am chairing at the Union in Soho, I created a survey to help answer the question I am posing to my panellists on the night: What do women really want in bed?

The responses have been pouring in thick and fast (yes, I meant to do that) and make for fascinating reading.

Did you see what I did there? I just displayed a characteristic that both sexes state they find highly attractive. Or at least they do in dating profiles and in response to surveys like mine.

That is, of course, the infamous GSOH  – or Good Sense of Humour – which was among the highest scoring desirable characteristics in my survey.

But it turns out that it’s all a matter of biology and natural selection. Yes, foiled by nature over nurture again.

Men might say they want to laugh along with a woman all the way to the bedroom but what they really mean is that they want the woman to be laughing at them.

No, not at their performance. That kills things stone dead, trust me. At their jokes, of course. Yep, as it also turns out, all those old-fashioned advice manuals were right.

Snigger at his bon mots, chortle at his puns, collapse in fits of giggles at his witticisms and he’s yours. No questions asked.

Even more annoyingly, this is all down to a biological imperative that links a good sense of humour to higher intelligence, a quality women are apparently hard-wired to value as it signals higher earning potential and therefore a greater ability to provide.

The evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller posits the theory that the ability to not only be funny but to appreciate humour has evolved as a result of sexual selection.

Two scientific studies* have shown that women prefer sexual partners who demonstrate a good sense of humour. Men show no such preference.

Worse, another study** reveals that the amount of a woman’s laughter correlated to the amount of her sexual interest in a man and was more predictive of both sexes’ interest in dating one another.

In other words, fall about and he knows you fancy him but don’t expect the same in return.

Now, I find this as hard to swallow as most women will.  But biology moves a lot slower than societal evolution so all arguments of women’s equal or greater earning power fail in the face of that ancient and overriding imperative for survival of the species.

And that survival partly hinges on our finding men funny. Simple as that. But remember that humour has to be of the intelligent variety so you might want to give it a miss if he’s more into the slapstick, banana skin stuff.

Your takeaway from this? I’m tempted to simply guffaw at everything and anything a man says and keep him guessing. But he’ll probably just think I’m bowled over by his brilliance and wit.

Then again, is that such a bad thing? After all, it’s not just men who do the seducing. The difference is that women tend to be a little more wily in their ways…

Want to take that survey and see how you score in the seduction stakes? It’s here:

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/JZSCWY7

* Bressler, E. R., & Balshine, S. (2004). The influence of humor on desirability. Evolution and Human Behavior, 27, 29 –39.

Lundy, D. E., Tan, J., & Cunningham, M. R. (1998). Heterosexual romantic preferences: The importance of humour and physical attractiveness for different types of relationships. Personal Relationships, 5, 311 – 325.

** Grammer, K., & Eibl-Eibesfeldt, I. (1990). The ritualisation of laughter. In W. Koch (Ed.), Naturalichkeit der Sprache un der Kulture: Acta colloquii (pp. 192 – 214). Bochum7 Brockmeyer

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We debated this issue in the last Litopia After Dark podcast:

http://tinyurl.com/d6mbhd

Suffice to say, we concluded that, sadly, Chris Ryan is in the minority and it is mostly female authors who have to hide under a pseudonym or, more commonly, a pair of initials (cf JK Rowling). It seems that boys (and we’ll include men in that sweeping statement) still prefer their books, or at least their heroes, to be written by members of the same sex. Alison Flood writing in the Guardian came to pretty much the same conclusion:

http://tinyurl.com/b7nvkm

I would contend that many readers would be unable to tell which gender had written a book if the author’s name were to be removed. One of my favourite internet toys, The Gender Genie, upholds my theory that styles of writing do not conform to gender bias. Each time I try it, it firmly tells me that I am a man. And who am I to argue? You can have a go yourself here:
http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php

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It’s often touted that the golden age of Hollywood coincided in part with the Great Depression, resulting in a rash of comedies and glitzy musicals to take the collective mind off what was happening. In fact, the majority of popular films reflected the social zeitgeist. It seems we find comfort in the familiar, i.e. in what is happening to us on a daily basis. Given that there has been a huge upsurge in what psychologists are calling Recession Sex, I feel certain that my prediction of a parallel upsurge in demand for eighties-style bonkbusters will prove correct.

As authors we would be providing a public service by fulfilling this need. Divorce and adultery statistics are also going through the roof. Far better to read about it in a book than actually indulge. The age of the testosterone-packed City is over. There are no square-jawed heroes in Wall Street. We need the real deal and the safest place to find it is between the covers of a book

http://tinyurl.com/d6mbhd

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